makeup

So to follow up from our earlier conversation, one afternoon I did take myself to Sephora and get a willowy person to put makeup on me and show me how it was done. First she told me that I had great skin and barely need foundation at all. Then she put this liquid foundation from Make Up For Ever on me, to take out a bit of redness in my cheeks. Then she put blush on me, presumably to put the redness back in my cheeks. I decided that this seemed unnecessary. I also worked out why people are always telling me they thought I was younger. It's because when you put makeup on your skin you instantly add five to ten years to your age. Seriously: I went around the store trying different kinds of concealer and foundation and such. Do the same thing if you don't believe me! Put a bit on the back of your hand and blend it in. Marvel at all the tiny wrinkles and lines in the skin there that you never, ever could have noticed before. So when this person was finished making me up I definitely looked fancier and maybe even prettier but also ten years older. So I decided that foundation is not for me. The promise of concealer sounds really nice (as if I could erase all the night wakings!) but again, suddenly it gives me all these wrinkles under my eyes so it's no go.

I did buy some mascara, and I think it looks nice on me. I also bought some eyeliner but the truth is that my life is not currently really fancy enough for eyeliner, so I haven't worn it yet. Someday Mr. E and I will go out on a date again and I will try it out. Maybe I will buy some eyeshadow before then, too! There will probably be time. Though I have no immediate plans to go makeup shopping again.

I did find this fantastic makeup primer online. Finally I understand why I used to pick lip glosses in colors that appealed to me and some of them worked and some of them didn't and I never knew why! Now I know that it's orange undertones that look like clown makeup on my olive skin. I used to think that purple was exaggerated and clownish and now I come to discover that purple undertones just look neutral and natural on me. And Clinique divides up their lipcolors into reds, pinks, nudes, and violets, so that was extremely helpful.

Going around with lipstick and a skirt on, I have gotten a bit of a "your hair don't stick up no more!" vibe from a couple of old friends. Maybe butch is cooler because you have to be a little brave to be a butch woman? Maybe butch is cooler because it rejects girl stuff and is more like being a guy? Maybe because I used to look more gay? Eh, I'm still just as gay as I've ever been, which is obviously only sort of. Though it's funny, now that I think of it: the first girl I ever kissed, really properly kissed, it was at a goth club, after she had spent the earlier part of the evening doing my makeup, and I had spent it silently vibrating out of my skin. Having a gorgeous femme do your makeup is piercingly erotic. Competence, steady hands, her attention on you, her face three inches from yours, her breath brushing your cheek, as she tells you, "Look up. Perfect. Beautiful. Now open your mouth."