metaphortunate son (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
metaphortunate) wrote2015-09-28 04:27 pm
metaphortunate) wrote2015-09-28 04:27 pm
Entry tags:
I gotta wear shades
Hi ghost town! I have not been around because all my energy and time have been consumed by SWITCHING JOBS.
So, I am really easily bored by everything except people. I have had the same best friend since I was 15. I have been with Mr. E for 14 years. But I cannot keep the same hairstyle for 6 months in a row. I get restless. I need to order something different every time I go to the place. I want to walk home by a different route every time. And so unsurprisingly, that means I am now on my 3rd or 4th career, depending on how you look at it.
And let me tell you: switching careers two or three times before 40 is not the way to get ahead in any one career. It is the way to spend too much money on school, and to write a lot of entry-level resumes, and to get a pathetically small number of entry-level interviews, especially as you get older. I cannot recommend it.
But I have now been in the same industry and in fact the same job for 6 years. And when I brushed up my resume and went on a job interview last month, it was dizzying how different it was than the previous times. I didn't spend any time dicking around with fonts. I didn't spend any time thinking about paper stock. I just talked about what I've been doing for the past 6 years. I didn't have to try to sell them on my potential. My potential energy has been converted into kinetic energy, and I went in and basically told them that, and when they lowballed me on the wage I said your opportunity is really great and I really want it but I can't take a paycut for it, sorry; I loved meeting you, see you around sometime. Because I'm already making more than you're offering me. And so, because I did not need a job, because I did not need more money than they wanted to offer, I got a job and more money than they wanted to offer. It is so unfair! But that is how it goes.
Here is the downside to that: you know how there's a certain job security to being underpaid? I have the opposite of that right now. I came in with something to prove. I have to be at the top of my freaking game and I'm betting on that the kids don't get sick and that I don't have any brain bloops for the next three months or so, because I have been greeted with a lot of "So, Brian really said you were great - hope you're as good as he said!" and "Yeah, if you're here in a month we'll go ahead and order your business cards." So. I'm not exactly feeling real at home, here!
But I am enjoying the hell out of myself! I took the job for two reasons:
I actually talked to my old boss, a month or so before this opportunity dropped in my lap. I said, I am doing work that is above my job description. I'm supposed to be supporting this PM but I am doing the work, not him. I want the authority to do the work that I am already doing.
And he said, yes! Absolutely! It's great that you're asking for more responsibility!
And then nothing changed at all.
Now at this new job, I have come in at the same job title I was at in my last job, but it makes more sense because this is a whole new type of design that I have never worked on and I need to learn more about. And I am learning, and I am having lots of fun, and you know what, I think that when I'm ready to get promoted here, I might actually get that promotion. Because at this new firm? My boss is a woman. Her boss is a woman. The firm was founded by a black man. The partner in charge of our office is a black man. At my old firm, they hired a lot of different kinds of people, and that was great, that was a plus! Buuuuuuut, it was like, at one point they hired a professional photographer to come and take headshots for our resume pictures? And all the people he took pictures of, they were white guys.
And the rest of us, our resume pictures were ones we took of each other with our cell phones.
And it was like that.
My old boss was not happy to hear that I was leaving. He took it okay on the day I gave notice, but a couple of days later, once I had come down with a cold and was at work all stoned on Sudafed, he asked me to meet for a few minutes and basically cornered me in the conference room and would not let me out until I agreed to at least think about a counteroffer.
In a way, it was nice to hear that he understood that he was really going to lose a lot when I left. It's nice to be appreciated! That was fine as far as it went. He asked if I wanted more money, different job title, what could he offer me. What I wanted was this new opportunity, so he couldn't convince me, but, you know. It was all right. Even when he started talking about how many times he had tried to quit his first job and then accepted a counteroffer and how sad it is that unfortunately the only way to get a raise or promotion is to threaten to take a different job but he guesses that's the way it is. I'm like, that is certainly the way you have chosen to play it.
But then he started badmouthing….the rest of the world, sort of? Like, he started rambling about how the place I'm working now only gets its name put on projects because it's a minority-owned business and they don't really do the work. And I'm looking at him with a face like….Do not open your mouth to tell me that, white man. I didn't say anything, but I think my face must have, because he kind of trailed off. I'm pretty good at keeping my words and my voice professional at this point. But I know my face gets away from me sometimes. I've been told. Anyway, then he started telling me about other design firms he has known, and all the drawbacks to working at any of them; everything that's bad about working at a bigger firm, and everything that's bad about working at a smaller firm, until finally I said, "Sure, but I just can't believe that [our firm] is actually the only good place to practice design." And at that point he had to say, well no, it isn't.
So then he tried to switch to how am I going to deal with deadlines on an 80% time schedule, and I was like, welp, that's what we negotiated, so it's not coming as a surprise to anyone. I guess we'll deal with it as it comes. And he said, "but what if it doesn't work out?" And I said "I don't know, but you don't get anywhere in life by not taking any risks." He couldn't argue with that either.
And I had said at the beginning, kind of trying to soften the blow, that I had been happy at [our firm] - which was true, that's why I was totally willing to walk away from the new job when they didn't want to meet me on salary - and that I hadn't been looking for a new job, in fact people sometimes contact me on LinkedIn and I say I'm fine where I am, but finally I got offered this new opportunity that I just couldn't ignore. (I didn't mention that one of the reasons that I was excited about this new job was that people have been contacting me on LinkedIn for jobs that I'm not qualified for, and I feel like I probably SHOULD be qualified for them by now, and I was feeling like my professional development had stalled out, and I liked my salary and my flexible less-than-full-time schedule and my stability but feeling stalled out was starting to really worry me.) And so my boss started telling me that it seemed like I wasn't choosing this direction, that I was just kind of going with it because it was what had been offered, and that I should take more control of my career than that. Which is pretty funny, because he was trying to convince me to "take control of my career" by abandoning my plan to do what he said. But that one I didn't even feel the need to argue, possibly because of the Sudafed. I really don't need to prove to anyone whether I'm in control of a thing when I can just do what I want.
(And that was something I had indeed thought about, because I know about the aforementioned tendency to get bored and its pretty awful effects on my professional life. Am I just switching jobs because I've gotten bored? Would it be better to double down on my old company and take a counteroffer for more money, more responsibility, and a better job title? Would it be better to develop really in-depth niche knowledge about a certain type of design rather than general knowledge about different types? You know…I could have made that option work, I think. If I had wanted to. I could make a lot of things work. But what I wanted to do was explore new worlds and new civilizations, for better or worse, so that is the option that I am making work now.)
And then he just started repeating himself until I finally agreed to think about a counteroffer and then I never mentioned it again and just spent the next few days sending out a lot of emails about projects I had been working on and where to find information for whoever they hired to replace me.
…
It's funny: the way I heard about this new job was, I was thinking about an entirely different new job. A friend of my boss's, whom I know professionally, was possibly looking for someone, and I thought I might like to work with her*. So I suggested this to her, and brushed up my resume and sent it to her. She responded that were things otherwise, she would love to work with me; but that my boss would never forgive her if she poached me. I thought she was overstating the case. I was so, so wrong, and have since apologized for doubting her.
But when I was brushing up my resume, I logged into LinkedIn to check out my profile, and found a message I had somehow missed, from an old coworker who had moved on. He was only at my old firm for a couple of months; it was really not a good fit for him. But, he and I got on great! He was probably my favorite coworker for the brief time he was there. I learned a lot from him even in that short time. Well, here he was saying that his company was looking for people like me. I said….eh, here's my resume, pass it on if you think it's worthwhile. Well, I had a phone interview the next day, and an interview appointment by the end of the week.
Actually I hung up the phone and went "Fuck! I have no portfolio! I have no interview clothes! My good suit was two pregnancies ago!" So the rest of the week was a sleepless blur of trying to pull shit together, and in fact I had to bring my kids to the print shop while I got my portfolio printed. They were so good. I bribed them with Silly Putty and a little eraser shaped like a popsicle. That was the one the toddler picked out. I thought it was an awful choice. How long can you play with a little eraser shaped like a popsicle? I figured he'd get bored of it within a minute. They still fight over that freaking thing. Kids are inexplicable.
…
*It's a lie that I thought I might like to work with her. What happened was, Mr. E suggested that I might like to work with her. And I said no. I don't want to switch jobs. I have all this stability. I can't deal with switching jobs while the kids are so small. I can't deal with unpredictability right now. I am mad at you for suggesting that I change things and take risks when I don't feel like I could deal with it. I don't think I'm up to it. I don't even know if I would like it. I guess I might like it. I would probably learn a lot. I could try to negotiate a set-up that would work for me, and if we couldn't agree, then no harm done. I guess I really do like this person and feel like I could work with her. Crap, okay, now I have to suggest it to her.
He's the best.
So, I am really easily bored by everything except people. I have had the same best friend since I was 15. I have been with Mr. E for 14 years. But I cannot keep the same hairstyle for 6 months in a row. I get restless. I need to order something different every time I go to the place. I want to walk home by a different route every time. And so unsurprisingly, that means I am now on my 3rd or 4th career, depending on how you look at it.
And let me tell you: switching careers two or three times before 40 is not the way to get ahead in any one career. It is the way to spend too much money on school, and to write a lot of entry-level resumes, and to get a pathetically small number of entry-level interviews, especially as you get older. I cannot recommend it.
But I have now been in the same industry and in fact the same job for 6 years. And when I brushed up my resume and went on a job interview last month, it was dizzying how different it was than the previous times. I didn't spend any time dicking around with fonts. I didn't spend any time thinking about paper stock. I just talked about what I've been doing for the past 6 years. I didn't have to try to sell them on my potential. My potential energy has been converted into kinetic energy, and I went in and basically told them that, and when they lowballed me on the wage I said your opportunity is really great and I really want it but I can't take a paycut for it, sorry; I loved meeting you, see you around sometime. Because I'm already making more than you're offering me. And so, because I did not need a job, because I did not need more money than they wanted to offer, I got a job and more money than they wanted to offer. It is so unfair! But that is how it goes.
Here is the downside to that: you know how there's a certain job security to being underpaid? I have the opposite of that right now. I came in with something to prove. I have to be at the top of my freaking game and I'm betting on that the kids don't get sick and that I don't have any brain bloops for the next three months or so, because I have been greeted with a lot of "So, Brian really said you were great - hope you're as good as he said!" and "Yeah, if you're here in a month we'll go ahead and order your business cards." So. I'm not exactly feeling real at home, here!
But I am enjoying the hell out of myself! I took the job for two reasons:
- I've been doing one very specific kind of design for six years now. I want to learn how to do other kinds. I need breadth of experience. Partly, I need it for my own satisfaction (easily bored) but also I actually need it in order to get my license, and I wasn't getting it at my old place, because they just don't do everything; they have a niche and they stick to it. Which is great if that's what you want to do, and I'm not being sarcastic: they have weathered financial booms and busts by having a really good niche, and I truly value that steady paycheck. But still, I am not sure that is the niche I want to stay in.
- I have been working above my pay grade. In fact, if I were working full time, I would have demanded a promotion at my old job by now. But with the kid schedule; I can't be the person finally responsible for getting the project deliverables out on time, the person who stays as long as it takes. And that was the next step at my last firm.
I actually talked to my old boss, a month or so before this opportunity dropped in my lap. I said, I am doing work that is above my job description. I'm supposed to be supporting this PM but I am doing the work, not him. I want the authority to do the work that I am already doing.
And he said, yes! Absolutely! It's great that you're asking for more responsibility!
And then nothing changed at all.
Now at this new job, I have come in at the same job title I was at in my last job, but it makes more sense because this is a whole new type of design that I have never worked on and I need to learn more about. And I am learning, and I am having lots of fun, and you know what, I think that when I'm ready to get promoted here, I might actually get that promotion. Because at this new firm? My boss is a woman. Her boss is a woman. The firm was founded by a black man. The partner in charge of our office is a black man. At my old firm, they hired a lot of different kinds of people, and that was great, that was a plus! Buuuuuuut, it was like, at one point they hired a professional photographer to come and take headshots for our resume pictures? And all the people he took pictures of, they were white guys.
And the rest of us, our resume pictures were ones we took of each other with our cell phones.
And it was like that.
My old boss was not happy to hear that I was leaving. He took it okay on the day I gave notice, but a couple of days later, once I had come down with a cold and was at work all stoned on Sudafed, he asked me to meet for a few minutes and basically cornered me in the conference room and would not let me out until I agreed to at least think about a counteroffer.
In a way, it was nice to hear that he understood that he was really going to lose a lot when I left. It's nice to be appreciated! That was fine as far as it went. He asked if I wanted more money, different job title, what could he offer me. What I wanted was this new opportunity, so he couldn't convince me, but, you know. It was all right. Even when he started talking about how many times he had tried to quit his first job and then accepted a counteroffer and how sad it is that unfortunately the only way to get a raise or promotion is to threaten to take a different job but he guesses that's the way it is. I'm like, that is certainly the way you have chosen to play it.
But then he started badmouthing….the rest of the world, sort of? Like, he started rambling about how the place I'm working now only gets its name put on projects because it's a minority-owned business and they don't really do the work. And I'm looking at him with a face like….Do not open your mouth to tell me that, white man. I didn't say anything, but I think my face must have, because he kind of trailed off. I'm pretty good at keeping my words and my voice professional at this point. But I know my face gets away from me sometimes. I've been told. Anyway, then he started telling me about other design firms he has known, and all the drawbacks to working at any of them; everything that's bad about working at a bigger firm, and everything that's bad about working at a smaller firm, until finally I said, "Sure, but I just can't believe that [our firm] is actually the only good place to practice design." And at that point he had to say, well no, it isn't.
So then he tried to switch to how am I going to deal with deadlines on an 80% time schedule, and I was like, welp, that's what we negotiated, so it's not coming as a surprise to anyone. I guess we'll deal with it as it comes. And he said, "but what if it doesn't work out?" And I said "I don't know, but you don't get anywhere in life by not taking any risks." He couldn't argue with that either.
And I had said at the beginning, kind of trying to soften the blow, that I had been happy at [our firm] - which was true, that's why I was totally willing to walk away from the new job when they didn't want to meet me on salary - and that I hadn't been looking for a new job, in fact people sometimes contact me on LinkedIn and I say I'm fine where I am, but finally I got offered this new opportunity that I just couldn't ignore. (I didn't mention that one of the reasons that I was excited about this new job was that people have been contacting me on LinkedIn for jobs that I'm not qualified for, and I feel like I probably SHOULD be qualified for them by now, and I was feeling like my professional development had stalled out, and I liked my salary and my flexible less-than-full-time schedule and my stability but feeling stalled out was starting to really worry me.) And so my boss started telling me that it seemed like I wasn't choosing this direction, that I was just kind of going with it because it was what had been offered, and that I should take more control of my career than that. Which is pretty funny, because he was trying to convince me to "take control of my career" by abandoning my plan to do what he said. But that one I didn't even feel the need to argue, possibly because of the Sudafed. I really don't need to prove to anyone whether I'm in control of a thing when I can just do what I want.
(And that was something I had indeed thought about, because I know about the aforementioned tendency to get bored and its pretty awful effects on my professional life. Am I just switching jobs because I've gotten bored? Would it be better to double down on my old company and take a counteroffer for more money, more responsibility, and a better job title? Would it be better to develop really in-depth niche knowledge about a certain type of design rather than general knowledge about different types? You know…I could have made that option work, I think. If I had wanted to. I could make a lot of things work. But what I wanted to do was explore new worlds and new civilizations, for better or worse, so that is the option that I am making work now.)
And then he just started repeating himself until I finally agreed to think about a counteroffer and then I never mentioned it again and just spent the next few days sending out a lot of emails about projects I had been working on and where to find information for whoever they hired to replace me.
…
It's funny: the way I heard about this new job was, I was thinking about an entirely different new job. A friend of my boss's, whom I know professionally, was possibly looking for someone, and I thought I might like to work with her*. So I suggested this to her, and brushed up my resume and sent it to her. She responded that were things otherwise, she would love to work with me; but that my boss would never forgive her if she poached me. I thought she was overstating the case. I was so, so wrong, and have since apologized for doubting her.
But when I was brushing up my resume, I logged into LinkedIn to check out my profile, and found a message I had somehow missed, from an old coworker who had moved on. He was only at my old firm for a couple of months; it was really not a good fit for him. But, he and I got on great! He was probably my favorite coworker for the brief time he was there. I learned a lot from him even in that short time. Well, here he was saying that his company was looking for people like me. I said….eh, here's my resume, pass it on if you think it's worthwhile. Well, I had a phone interview the next day, and an interview appointment by the end of the week.
Actually I hung up the phone and went "Fuck! I have no portfolio! I have no interview clothes! My good suit was two pregnancies ago!" So the rest of the week was a sleepless blur of trying to pull shit together, and in fact I had to bring my kids to the print shop while I got my portfolio printed. They were so good. I bribed them with Silly Putty and a little eraser shaped like a popsicle. That was the one the toddler picked out. I thought it was an awful choice. How long can you play with a little eraser shaped like a popsicle? I figured he'd get bored of it within a minute. They still fight over that freaking thing. Kids are inexplicable.
…
*It's a lie that I thought I might like to work with her. What happened was, Mr. E suggested that I might like to work with her. And I said no. I don't want to switch jobs. I have all this stability. I can't deal with switching jobs while the kids are so small. I can't deal with unpredictability right now. I am mad at you for suggesting that I change things and take risks when I don't feel like I could deal with it. I don't think I'm up to it. I don't even know if I would like it. I guess I might like it. I would probably learn a lot. I could try to negotiate a set-up that would work for me, and if we couldn't agree, then no harm done. I guess I really do like this person and feel like I could work with her. Crap, okay, now I have to suggest it to her.
He's the best.
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Sad that your old boss was so weird about it, but yay for the new firm sounding really excellent in the management direction, and for having a lot of differnet people.
In my case, my new job was absolutely the right decision and has been uniformly entirely excellent, and I hope yours is as well! Or, at least, that it is a good stepping stone an an entirely excellent direction.
(And Mr. E is the best, indeed.)
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Yes, I am hoping that the new job, even if it does not turn out to be the job of my dreams, gives me a better basis to look for jobs that are. Though - so far - it is pretty good itself.
I'm glad your new job has been the right decision!
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-J
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Let's celebrate in person! Email me!
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(Boo to your old boss for not only having tried to keep a lid on you but for continuing to do so once the word "counteroffer" had been mentioned! That does not seem like an effective way to encourage someone to stay.)
And, selfishly, yay for knowing that this can work at some times and for some individuals, because I think about things this way and that, and job stability, and being 35+ and not white and a woman, and and and.
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(and my new BOSS is 35+ AND not white AND a woman :DDDDDD)
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Also, ahahahaha, add me to the yay-for-knowing-this-can-work category because always thinking about job stability and being 35+ and having to work around kid flexibility and not white and a woman and!
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(Anonymous) 2015-09-29 03:22 am (UTC)(link)Perfect.
Also: coming in like that is more stressful for awhile when you're proving yourself, but actually gets you more deference later in the job. So I hope it works out well for you. And if it does, you will get more respect than would otherwise be available to you, even if you did as well or better early on.
Well done!
I really don't need to prove to anyone whether I'm in control of a thing when I can just do what I want.
Yay!
- Noah
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I definitely note that Brian talked me up so he is now really invested in me looking good, and that's all to the good.
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But yay for the new place! So excited for you!
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But, yay, thanks!
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And also congratulations on choosing a spouse who helps you remember how awesome you really are. That is pretty much the best thing about a good partner.
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Second, yay inexplicable kid toy tropisms. :)
Third: so what if you _are_ changing jobs because you're bored? That's actually not a terrible reason to change jobs. If you're bored, then you're not as engaged, you're not putting as much energy in, and you're certainly not getting as much energy out of it. Working on things that you're stoked about is a great way to really be able to show what you can do. Sometimes boredom is a useful signal that it's time to do the next thing. :)
Fourth: sorry that your old boss was so...insistent. I guess that it shows that they really did value you very highly, which is nice, but even taking aside some of the things he said, literally cornering people like that is Not Cool.
Go rock it. I hope to hear that the new gig is at least as awesome as you were expecting it to be. :)
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I can picture this perfectly.....
And I'm glad you're switching!!
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Still thinking about the truth of this.