metaphortunate | Quiz! You see before you...

When you see a person who is visibly pregnant, you feel:

vaguely grossed out and embarrassed for her, as though you were seeing someone loudly hawk up phlegm or perform some other unattractive and probably sticky biological function in public.
a protective tenderness. You want to offer her a seat, or get her a snack, or stand between her and the person who’s about to try to touch her belly.
a creeping biological horror, as if watching a video of Cordyceps fungus infesting an ant, changing its behavior, killing it, and erupting from the back of its head.
like giving her a high-five!
a strange, slight jealousy. You don’t want to be pregnant; and yet.
an impotent terror, as if watching someone trip and fall towards a counter and reflexively put out their hand down into the sink where a garbage disposal is running. You want to shriek NOOOO! STOP! and you know it is far, far too late.
welcoming. Another member has joined the club; you’ll have so much to talk about, and now there will be someone else who always has wet wipes that you can borrow.
a jealousy so strong it tastes bitter. If she already has children, you might have to just look away; keep your face still.
pleased that you might have found someone who could use your outgrown newborn clothes, or baby swing.
irrationally terrified that she might break her water or throw up or something and you’ll have to deal with it.

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