Quiz! You see before you...

[metaphortunate]

When you see a person who is visibly pregnant, you feel:

• vaguely grossed out and embarrassed for her, as though you were seeing someone loudly hawk up phlegm or perform some other unattractive and probably sticky biological function in public.
  
• a protective tenderness. You want to offer her a seat, or get her a snack, or stand between her and the person who’s about to try to touch her belly.
  
• a creeping biological horror, as if watching a video of Cordyceps fungus infesting an ant, changing its behavior, killing it, and erupting from the back of its head.
  
• like giving her a high-five!
  
• a strange, slight jealousy. You don’t want to be pregnant; and yet.
  
• an impotent terror, as if watching someone trip and fall towards a counter and reflexively put out their hand down into the sink where a garbage disposal is running. You want to shriek NOOOO! STOP! and you know it is far, far too late.
  
• welcoming. Another member has joined the club; you’ll have so much to talk about, and now there will be someone else who always has wet wipes that you can borrow.
  
• a jealousy so strong it tastes bitter. If she already has children, you might have to just look away; keep your face still.
  
• pleased that you might have found someone who could use your outgrown newborn clothes, or baby swing.
  
• irrationally terrified that she might break her water or throw up or something and you’ll have to deal with it.

ETA:

• "Better you than me, sister."

Comments

[jedusaur]

I double-check my assumptions, make sure the "that person is pregnant" judgment isn't a jump to conclusions, and then don't think about it beyond that unless they seem like they need help. I definitely don't compare the pregnant person to myself at all. Pregnancy isn't something I would ever consider for myself, so it's not a state I bother to actively either identify with or distance myself from.

(Anymore. I did actively distance myself from it when I was being told from all directions that I was wrong and would want to be pregnant at some point, but I guess people were more comfortable being that kind of asshole when I was a teenager and therefore clearly unable to function without everyone's unsolicited life coaching.)

[metaphortunate]

Welp, if you miss all that unsolicited coaching, pregnancy is an excellent way to get right back there!