definitions

[metaphortunate]

You see me on the bus, wrangling a baby, a toddler, a stroller, a backpack.

Helpful: Offer us your seat. Offer to hold the stroller for me. I really appreciate that. I love that the Junebug sees people helping one another as an everyday part of the world.

Helpy: Lift the toddler into the seat without asking so that he gets scared & cries. Physically try to wrestle the stroller out of my hand. Demand that I take your seat even if the baby will only be calm when I stand & bounce him.

Seriously, if I say "Thanks, I've got it," FUCKING LET ME HAVE IT.

Comments

[lovepeaceohana]

Oh helpy people. Such good intentions (we can only hope)! Such terrible execution!

[jesse_the_k]

helpy is a word I've been searching for! Thank you!

Sorry you had a battle o' baby on the bus. I know it sucks. Whenever I start moving on the bus, weird arms come whistling in to grab my sleeves, my bag strap, my dignity, my temper.

Based on recent personal research, I get a slightly better response if I front load my brush-off with "Thank you so much. I've got it." Emphasizing the thanks for the intention they don't know how to channel is key.

[laurajv]

helpy is such a useful word. it's particularly fun to tell someone to stop helpying, because it's so pleasing to say

[antisoppist]

The ones I used to hate were the ones who grab the bottom of the pushchair to help you when you're bumping it down a flight of steps on the back wheels. I have had years of practice at doing this, the baby laughs at the bumps, I have loads of stuff hanging off the handles that I am carefully balancing the weight of and I don't have stereo vision and need to go slowly to see where each step ends. You pick up the front wheels and pull and the whole shebang is likely to fall on top of you and we will all roll to the bottom of the steps and land in a heap.

OTOH The woman who saw me with kids aged 1 and 4 and 7, a pushchair, a baby car seat and a wheeled suitcase on a London bus and said "If you're going to the station, there's a route with no steps if you get off at this stop, not the nearer one" and then carried the car seat was exactly what I wanted.

But people need to ask first and listen to your answer.

[kore]

Argh, that reminds me of the NPR interview (I think) with Jim Knipfel where he describes people grabbing his arm and dragging him someplace so he doesn't know where he's going, and actually fending them off with his white cane. Helpy indeed.

[ironed_orchid]

UGH!