recs, boobs, work

[metaphortunate]

thefourthvine did a recs set of Stories That Will Make You Uncomfortable And You Will Love It. And I must second the recommendation for "The Death of Narcissa Black: A Potion." Because it is amazing and terrible. And, you know, not that it resonates or anything. hahaha*sob*

The other thing I've been reading is Fearless Formula Feeder. Cause it turns out when I'm back at work I can't pump enough to feed the kid exclusively on milk. And yes, it cost me a few tears. I honestly do not think that formula is a bad thing. But I suspect there's an instinct to feed your kid and to freak out if you feel like you can't. At least until it sinks into your brain that the kid is still getting fed.

You know, though. One of the things that blogger says is a reason not to breastfeed, is that it makes the mom have to be the primary caretaker, and that it doesn't allow the other parent to bond with the baby as well. I call bullshit. You know what makes the mom be the primary caretaker? The fact that the mom is so frequently the only one who gets leave. When we brought the Junebug home from the hospital, and Mr. E and I were both on leave, I barely changed a diaper until he went back to work. I handled input, he handled output. When I was having trouble nursing: if I was nursing and crying, he was sitting next to me on the couch, holding my hand, getting me drinks, taking the baby out of the room so I could get a break and sleep for an hour. He's always been better at swaddling the Junebug and he's probably better at getting him to go to sleep. I would not be nursing today if it hadn't been for Mr. E, he was the key to making that work. My going back to work has been 1000x easier because Mr. E was actually able to split his leave and so I have left the baby home with his dad for a few weeks, which means I know he's okay as I adjust to being back at work. And so few dads have the option of being there for their families like that.

Comments

[kalmn]

it is my i have never breastfed and never plan to opinion that your first job is to not starve the kid to death and however you achieve that, go you.

the juggler won't have any leave when godot gets home (other than his regular vacation) and can't use fmla because he will have no legal standing to godot. we hope to change that, but due to bureaucratic DOOOOOOM can't do anything until some not-currently-specified amount of time after godot gets home.

parental leave policies in the us are stupid. (do not get me started on how most people who don't work in hr or aren't adoptive parents think you get paid adoption leave. do NOT get me started.)

[metaphortunate]

In CA you get 55% of your salary from the state for 6 weeks for adopting or fostering as well as biologically having a child. It's not perfect, but I love my state.

It's weird: I told my Texan friend this and she was all, "pffft, no wonder your state is going bankrupt." I do not get this instinct to fight for the right to get fucked over by corporations as much as possible, I truly do not.