metaphortunate son (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
metaphortunate) wrote2013-03-01 08:29 pm
metaphortunate) wrote2013-03-01 08:29 pm
Entry tags:
bad hair days
Also, just one thing. And I am aware that it is an infinitesimally tiny thing in the grand scheme of things. A nanothing, if you will. Autocorrect, quit fucking with my made up words. Nanothing is totally a word if I say it is. Anyway. When I went home for the long weekend. Merely a blip in the overall Daft Punk BLIP BLIP BLIP BLEEP BLOOOP of the weekend: but all the good things and bad and hilariously bad that happened that weekend, I had to face with truly shitty hair.
See, I've been washing my hair with vinegar & baking soda, and not every day, and it's been working pretty well, I'm happy with it; but what with rushing and packing and so on, I didn't have time to wash it before I left, and I was feeling grungy when I got there, especially after the plane flight, so the next morning, I decided to wash my hair.
But my mom, as she says, she has a kitchen cause it came with the house, but that's as far as it goes. Every time we visit, first thing we do, we have to buy things like butter and milk and bread and eggs if we want to eat them while we're there. My mom lives on Health Nuggets from the Healthy Store. She keeps them in the freezer. So I didn't think I would be able to find vinegar or baking soda. In retrospect this was stupid. The Healthy Store also sells salads, and my mom puts vinegar on those. There would totally have been vinegar, although probably not baking soda. But I didn't think, and I didn't want to ask because, I know this is dumb, but one time at Mr. E's parents' house I asked for vinegar & baking soda because I wanted to wash my hair, and I got looks like I had requested to bring the whole salad into the shower with me in case I got hungry. I mean, they were totally nice about it, but it was clearly hilarious to everyone. I don't know. I got shy. I just didn't want to deal with it again. In retrospect I should have sucked it up and requested my shower salad, but I did not.
Instead I figured I'd just wash my hair with the shampoo that was lying around the shower. There was no conditioner, but, eh, fine, I figured. I'd just put a little body lotion on my hair afterwards and then use extra hair gunk. This totally works in an emergency, by the way. So I washed my hair - yay! no more grunge! - and got out of the shower, and put a little body lotion on it. And discovered that I had forgotten to pack my hair gunk.
Fine, I figured. I will borrow my mother's hair gunk. So I went over to her bathroom…and discovered that all she has is this "Lite Shine" bullshit. What even is this, Mom? We have the same mass of frizz! We both need control and curl goop! Mom you are only hurting yourself with this. I had no other option so I used the "Lite Shine" bullshit. As expected, my head played dandelion for the rest of the weekend. I thought I'd go by a drugstore and get some real hair gunk, but the thing is, I was only home for a few days, there were a million things to do…it never happened. So, again, it's not that big a deal, but every single thing that I did that weekend, stressful or difficult or fun with lots of pictures or socially challenging, that I might have gained some confidence from feeling like I looked my best at, I instead did in the full awareness that I was showing up wearing a steel wool wig.
And I know I looked terrible, because my mom winced whenever she saw my hair. "You know you inherited my hair, right?" Yup, I've owned mirrors for years! "And it looks terrible on both of us!" That's because of your terrible hair gunk purchasing choices! "Let's go get you a haircut and fix it!" No, because I just GOT a haircut that I like quite a lot, okay, my hair is just HAVING A MOMENT. "Mija, won't you at least use a little bit of my hair gunk?" I DID BUT IT DID NOT HELP BECAUSE YOUR HAIR GUNK IS MADE OUT OF CANOLA OIL AND ASS. LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY TERRIBLE HAIR.
See, I've been washing my hair with vinegar & baking soda, and not every day, and it's been working pretty well, I'm happy with it; but what with rushing and packing and so on, I didn't have time to wash it before I left, and I was feeling grungy when I got there, especially after the plane flight, so the next morning, I decided to wash my hair.
But my mom, as she says, she has a kitchen cause it came with the house, but that's as far as it goes. Every time we visit, first thing we do, we have to buy things like butter and milk and bread and eggs if we want to eat them while we're there. My mom lives on Health Nuggets from the Healthy Store. She keeps them in the freezer. So I didn't think I would be able to find vinegar or baking soda. In retrospect this was stupid. The Healthy Store also sells salads, and my mom puts vinegar on those. There would totally have been vinegar, although probably not baking soda. But I didn't think, and I didn't want to ask because, I know this is dumb, but one time at Mr. E's parents' house I asked for vinegar & baking soda because I wanted to wash my hair, and I got looks like I had requested to bring the whole salad into the shower with me in case I got hungry. I mean, they were totally nice about it, but it was clearly hilarious to everyone. I don't know. I got shy. I just didn't want to deal with it again. In retrospect I should have sucked it up and requested my shower salad, but I did not.
Instead I figured I'd just wash my hair with the shampoo that was lying around the shower. There was no conditioner, but, eh, fine, I figured. I'd just put a little body lotion on my hair afterwards and then use extra hair gunk. This totally works in an emergency, by the way. So I washed my hair - yay! no more grunge! - and got out of the shower, and put a little body lotion on it. And discovered that I had forgotten to pack my hair gunk.
Fine, I figured. I will borrow my mother's hair gunk. So I went over to her bathroom…and discovered that all she has is this "Lite Shine" bullshit. What even is this, Mom? We have the same mass of frizz! We both need control and curl goop! Mom you are only hurting yourself with this. I had no other option so I used the "Lite Shine" bullshit. As expected, my head played dandelion for the rest of the weekend. I thought I'd go by a drugstore and get some real hair gunk, but the thing is, I was only home for a few days, there were a million things to do…it never happened. So, again, it's not that big a deal, but every single thing that I did that weekend, stressful or difficult or fun with lots of pictures or socially challenging, that I might have gained some confidence from feeling like I looked my best at, I instead did in the full awareness that I was showing up wearing a steel wool wig.
And I know I looked terrible, because my mom winced whenever she saw my hair. "You know you inherited my hair, right?" Yup, I've owned mirrors for years! "And it looks terrible on both of us!" That's because of your terrible hair gunk purchasing choices! "Let's go get you a haircut and fix it!" No, because I just GOT a haircut that I like quite a lot, okay, my hair is just HAVING A MOMENT. "Mija, won't you at least use a little bit of my hair gunk?" I DID BUT IT DID NOT HELP BECAUSE YOUR HAIR GUNK IS MADE OUT OF CANOLA OIL AND ASS. LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY TERRIBLE HAIR.
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