10 out of 10 for speed, but minus several thousand for accuracy

[metaphortunate]

Thoughts that went through my head over the course of 3 or 4 steps as I was walking to work this morning:

1) Eww, an empty condom packet.

2) No, it's good that people are using condoms. It is. I'm just sad for them that they have to do this where they don't even have a good place to throw out their condom. And personally grossed out, of course. What fun it will be to keep the Junebug from picking this stuff up when he starts walking more.

3) Better look for the condom so I don't step on it.

4) Huh. That is a remarkably large condom packet. Dude must be pleased with himself.

5) Actually, that is...not a condom packet at all. It says "pistachios". I guess it's an empty snack size packet of pistachios. 

6) Jeez, why would you put pistachios on your dick?

7) Wait. No.

Comments

[resolute]

I started laughing out loud, which meant I then had to explain what was so funny to the kids.

/o\

[wild_irises]

I started laughing out loud which meant I was then afraid that people in my office would come by and say "what's funny?" Especially since the person I work closest to is a total prude ...

I think we should silence metaphortunate now before she does this to us again. Not.

[jae]

HEE!

-J

[tam_nonlinear]

The trouble is that you only catch your brain lying to you when it does a bad job of it.

[metaphortunate]

NEVER TRUST BRAAAAAAAAINS

[wired]

"Pistachio dick" is what I am saying to everyone who pisses me off on my commute today. And I will be thinking of the Gangnam Style Pistachio Ad while I do it.

[cereta]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes.

[laurajv]

*chokes on own laughter*

[ironed_orchid]

Oh brains!

[jrtom]

This is awesome. And reminds me of the sort of thing that my brain does to me...frequently.

(As far as I can tell, my brain thinks it gets paid for generating bad puns and parody song lyrics.)

[alanj]

*cackles loudly*