apparently I'm tired. Or something.

[metaphortunate]

I was just in a conversation where I was trying to make a point, but I was having trouble nailing down exactly what it was, in fact the only thing I am quite sure of is that I didn't manage to say it, whatever it was, which is so FRUSTRATING, and makes me feel like I CAN'T just leave it at that, I've totally managed to misrepresent myself, surely if I just keep talking I will eventually manage to say what I think, right? Right? Even if there is the creeping suspicion that although I am sure that my elusive point is a good point, I really am, but just possibly it might not, strictly speaking, be a relevant point? But it's a good point, I swear it is! If I ever managed to say it properly you would all be struck by the force of my rightness! Maybe I will try one more time! Shut up and let me finish!

How do you stop yourself when you get like this? Do you ever get like this?

Also I continue my streak of shame in only ever pulling crap like this when I am stone cold sober. Although it is true that this week I have had too much to think.

Comments

[wild_irises]

Oh, man! I not only get like that, I know the tone in my voice which means I have gotten like that. I am very slowly, at my advanced age, learning to make use of that tone. I have always been able to recognize it, but it's just in the last few years that I've started to realize that what it means is "SHUT THE FUCK UP. TEN MINUTES AGO WOULD BE GOOD."

If you have a tone that goes with that style, learning to listen for it and trust it is my best advice.

[metaphortunate]

Ha! Yes! The other parts of your brain are going "Shut up! Shut up now! Okay...now! One two three NOW!"

My problem is that it takes me like half an hour to go from "It's really unfortunate that I'm sounding like an asshole, but I guess I have to in order to say this thing" to "It's not actually all that important that I be talking right now. It is actually MORE important to me that I stop being an asshole." That is too long!