pretty things and money, part 2

[metaphortunate]

And on another note, I have recently been privileged to see, up close and personal, an didactically clear example of why exactly it is so profitable for various industries to keep us in a constant state of insecurity. Since about my eighth month of pregnancy - and much more strongly since giving birth - I have felt ugly*. It makes a shocking difference to my level of happiness. I mean, I am noticeably unhappy about it every day, all day. Even though whether or not I am ugly affects most of my daily life not at all. I can't seem to shake it**.

And, as a consequence, I'm spending money. I'm not exactly going on shopping sprees - except for nursing tops, I guess, but it turns out I didn't used to own any of those, so I kind of had to - but when I buy things I need, I'm buying pricier ones. I bought fancy jeans to replace the ones that wore out. When I had to buy sunglasses, I bought fancy ones. I bought a pretty watch. Because when I'm feeling ugly, it's more worth money to me that at least my clothes can look nice.


*Please don't comment to tell me about whether or not I actually look ugly; it's not a rational thing, you can't help. I appreciate it if you were gonna. I was considering turning off comments but I'm interested in people's thoughts on insecurity/spending.

**I'm not unhappy all day every day! But I can tell that I'm slightly unhappier than I would be otherwise, because I keep thinking about it.

Comments

[thefourthvine]

For me, it goes the other way: I know I'm not attractive, and I also know that nothing I can buy is going to fix that, so I buy way less prettiness-related stuff than most people.

I mean, there is definitely a financial incentive to keeping people who actually are attractive insecure. If you convince people that they are certainly hideous naturally, but if they only buy nice stuff they will be more attractive, it forms a very lucrative loop: attractive people believe they aren't, buy nice stuff, expect to look better, and since the problem all along was in how they saw themselves, that expectation of looking better means they actually can acknowledge their own attractiveness.

But if you try that enough times and it never pans out at all, after a while, you drop out of the loop. So, my point: this loop is a real thing, but, you know. Doesn't work for everyone. Get on that, marketers! There is an untapped source of cash here!

[cme]

Wow, this is totally me. I am not pretty or cute, and nothing I can buy will look better on me than "well, not completely unacceptable, I guess", so I don't bother. When I get that sort of unhappy/uncomfortable, I go buy books.

I often wonder if I'd be the same sort of radical, angry feminist if I had a body that was more able to conform to femininity. If I could pass, would I be doing that? What would I think about the world if I had been a different-loooking person, one who needed less policing?

[metaphortunate]

I often think about how I would see the world from a different vantage point. Especially now, given that my son is, for all intents and purposes, a white guy. I think a lot about how to teach him to take pride in his accomplishments while being aware that he was born on third base.