metaphortunate son (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
metaphortunate) wrote2015-12-29 05:03 pm
metaphortunate) wrote2015-12-29 05:03 pm
Entry tags:
home, holidays
We're home! Guys, I genuinely do miss my mom a little bit. I do, because living with her is like living with the world's most passive-aggressive house elf, so you never have to clean a single thing. In fact, you are not allowed to clean a single thing, because if you so much as spill something and try to wipe it up she winces "please stop cleaning, you are not good at it, go do something else." Nor do you carry anything, because the moment you move towards picking something up, she darts in and hisses "for the love of God, can you just let me help you" leaving you with the choice of either letting a tiny 70-year-old woman haul your giant luggage up the stairs or physically wrestling it from her resisting hands. Which obviously has its drawbacks, but - we did not have to clean a single thing while we were there! We didn't do laundry, we played with the kids instead of doing dishes, and let me tell you - that is the best Christmas present of all.
Not that it was the only Christmas present. The kids got so many presents that they literally could not open them all. They couldn't open them all in a week. We are having unopened presents shipped to us. Some of those are going to be quietly donated, I think. And we will remember in future that the "2 presents each" rule has to be restated EVERY year.
Good presents, though. Legos! A magnetic drawing board! Automoblox! Foam swords! We got to see my dad and my half-sibs, I like those kids more every year. Currently I'm just in jaw-dropping awe of their good phone etiquette. Like, we went out, and they HAD their phones, they checked in with them every once in a while, but they didn't stare at them! Teenagers who cheerfully socialized with adults and toddlers and no one of their own age! Amazing, how do you get them to DO that???
We spent one night at my best friend's house, too, and that was great; her kids are 7 and 3, and the 7-year-old is incredibly good with younger kids. The Junebug is a huge fan of his. Where we live, land prices are high and the childhood population is low. Where Z lives, it is the exact opposite, so there is a large supply of restaurants featuring sand pits or play lots or various facilities for kids to run around like hyperactive monkeys, while their parents can keep an eye on them while chilling out with a beer and 35 lbs of fried food each. It is Texas. We went out for dinner to a place that had a better playscape than some parks we go to around here, and I hope the kids remember it. I mean, we go to parks all the time, but we don't go there at night; and I remember nights when I was a kid, when my family would go out for dinner with people, and we were out late, and we'd be playing as the streetlights came on, and there would be kids to play with other than my brother, and an atmosphere of excitement and unfamiliar fun. Those were good times, I'm glad my kids are getting some.
Also - if I may brag for a second - my kids are awesome. We saw a lot of kids on this trip, and all of them were cute and most of them were great, but mine are the BEST. They really coped so well with the plane flights and the messed up schedules. There were just a couple of meltdowns and they were directly our fault for not Leaving When It Was Time and trying to squeeze out a few minutes longer. It's hard for me to be disciplined about that, but wow is it vital.
It is a little bit frustrating for the relatives because my kids are just not the type to leap into the laps of strangers. I remember going out with some friends and their daughter, same age as the Junebug, did literally that: we looked away for a second and she was sitting in the lap of some neighbor who came over all "If you ever need a babysitter!!1!" I was shocked. My kids could no more do that than they could flap their arms and fly. Genetics and great presents notwithstanding, if they see someone a couple of days a year at most, that person is a stranger; and if that stranger bears down on them with the intention of scooping them up, they will run to me all AAAAH STRANGER DANGER I NEED MY MAMA. And then people get their feelings hurt.
....and blame me, for not showing them a good example of affection. :/
Scene:
It is bucketing down outside. Mom, Mr. E, the monkeys and I are waiting for takeout pizza. The adults are sitting and occasionally bellowing "INSIDE VOICE!" The kids are bouncing off the walls of an empty part of the restaurant.
Me, remembering that I always loved hearing about my parents' childhood, it was so different from mine; in an effort to get the kids to tamp down the Brownian motion and interact with their grandma: Hey guys, slow down for a second. Wanna hear about when I was a little kid? Your abuela is my mom, remember? Hey mom, what was I like when I was a little kid?
Mom: You were nice. You were such a nice little girl.
Mr. E (joking (predictably (but, seriously, JOKING))): Aww, what happened?
Mom, grimly: It was that friend you made. That L. That's where it all started.
Me, who has heard many times about how awful my friends have been for me, and does not need to hear it again: Mom, actually, the dude who married me thinks I am still nice. He was joking.
Mom - mercifully lets it go.
Kids - ignore the whole interaction.
But there you go. If you ever wondered when my personality started to go south, it was when I met L., at the age of 7. Man, if you'd have met me when I was 6, you would have really liked me! I was nice.
Not that it was the only Christmas present. The kids got so many presents that they literally could not open them all. They couldn't open them all in a week. We are having unopened presents shipped to us. Some of those are going to be quietly donated, I think. And we will remember in future that the "2 presents each" rule has to be restated EVERY year.
Good presents, though. Legos! A magnetic drawing board! Automoblox! Foam swords! We got to see my dad and my half-sibs, I like those kids more every year. Currently I'm just in jaw-dropping awe of their good phone etiquette. Like, we went out, and they HAD their phones, they checked in with them every once in a while, but they didn't stare at them! Teenagers who cheerfully socialized with adults and toddlers and no one of their own age! Amazing, how do you get them to DO that???
We spent one night at my best friend's house, too, and that was great; her kids are 7 and 3, and the 7-year-old is incredibly good with younger kids. The Junebug is a huge fan of his. Where we live, land prices are high and the childhood population is low. Where Z lives, it is the exact opposite, so there is a large supply of restaurants featuring sand pits or play lots or various facilities for kids to run around like hyperactive monkeys, while their parents can keep an eye on them while chilling out with a beer and 35 lbs of fried food each. It is Texas. We went out for dinner to a place that had a better playscape than some parks we go to around here, and I hope the kids remember it. I mean, we go to parks all the time, but we don't go there at night; and I remember nights when I was a kid, when my family would go out for dinner with people, and we were out late, and we'd be playing as the streetlights came on, and there would be kids to play with other than my brother, and an atmosphere of excitement and unfamiliar fun. Those were good times, I'm glad my kids are getting some.
Also - if I may brag for a second - my kids are awesome. We saw a lot of kids on this trip, and all of them were cute and most of them were great, but mine are the BEST. They really coped so well with the plane flights and the messed up schedules. There were just a couple of meltdowns and they were directly our fault for not Leaving When It Was Time and trying to squeeze out a few minutes longer. It's hard for me to be disciplined about that, but wow is it vital.
It is a little bit frustrating for the relatives because my kids are just not the type to leap into the laps of strangers. I remember going out with some friends and their daughter, same age as the Junebug, did literally that: we looked away for a second and she was sitting in the lap of some neighbor who came over all "If you ever need a babysitter!!1!" I was shocked. My kids could no more do that than they could flap their arms and fly. Genetics and great presents notwithstanding, if they see someone a couple of days a year at most, that person is a stranger; and if that stranger bears down on them with the intention of scooping them up, they will run to me all AAAAH STRANGER DANGER I NEED MY MAMA. And then people get their feelings hurt.
....and blame me, for not showing them a good example of affection. :/
Scene:
It is bucketing down outside. Mom, Mr. E, the monkeys and I are waiting for takeout pizza. The adults are sitting and occasionally bellowing "INSIDE VOICE!" The kids are bouncing off the walls of an empty part of the restaurant.
Me, remembering that I always loved hearing about my parents' childhood, it was so different from mine; in an effort to get the kids to tamp down the Brownian motion and interact with their grandma: Hey guys, slow down for a second. Wanna hear about when I was a little kid? Your abuela is my mom, remember? Hey mom, what was I like when I was a little kid?
Mom: You were nice. You were such a nice little girl.
Mr. E (joking (predictably (but, seriously, JOKING))): Aww, what happened?
Mom, grimly: It was that friend you made. That L. That's where it all started.
Me, who has heard many times about how awful my friends have been for me, and does not need to hear it again: Mom, actually, the dude who married me thinks I am still nice. He was joking.
Mom - mercifully lets it go.
Kids - ignore the whole interaction.
But there you go. If you ever wondered when my personality started to go south, it was when I met L., at the age of 7. Man, if you'd have met me when I was 6, you would have really liked me! I was nice.
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My 5yo wouldn't give her nana a hug till day four, just saying. MIL and I are not best buds, but I hug her when we arrive and leave; lately I feel that it's to make a point for my child. Then again, MIL tried extracting a kiss by emotional blackmail on day three, which we shut down with conversations afterwards (partner with MIL, me with child). ugh.
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Yes, I hope I remember, when this time is past, and it becomes relevant for younger friends/relatives!
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Oh your mom. *headshake*
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Mr. E (joking (predictably (but, seriously, JOKING))): Aww, what happened?
Mom, grimly: It was that friend you made. That L. That's where it all started.
Oh, god. :(
I am a big fan of NOT forcing or guilting children to kiss/hug/touch anyone that they don't want to.
I liked this article about it:
Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug Anyone (Yes, Including a Relative) – Here Are 7 Reasons Why
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/never-force-child-hug-people/
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Hey, you're back! I'm off work until 1/4. Do you have time to hang out?
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