Boy, I don't know. I am reminded strongly of my wife's trip through radiation, a mere five years ago. It was an incredibly choreographed, high-tech, science adventure with absolute piles of research behind it, and years of experience and high success rates. I mean, if you've got to have radiation, this is the sort you want to get, is what I'm saying. "Oh by the way," they said, "after the first dose, you need to suck on hard candies for a couple days. That will keep saliva flowing and protect your mouth from damage."

Fast forward less than three years and, whoops, it turns out the random bouts of weird and painful face swelling are the result of ... wait for it ... irradiated salivary glands. Resulting from sucking on hard candies. Which, it turns out, is the absolute worst thing you can do post radiation, because it literally draws irradiated material through the glands over and over again.

We don't know shit, is what I'm saying. Even when it looks like we do.