all about those boobs

[metaphortunate]

To celebrate the end of nursing (the end of nursing!) I have been trying to buy some new bras.

Did you know it's a quest, trying to get a bra? It's a quest. The Size F Cup Geas has been laid on me. I'm searching.

I got a painfully expensive bra from Figleaves, which does not fit and I will have to painfully expensively return, but the thing is: it does not fit, and it is not comfortable, but when I put it on, holy shit my boobs looked good. !!! I had forgotten they could do that!!! They haven't done it in years! If this bra can do it, maybe one that actually fits could do it even better!!

I asked people on Twitter if they actually hand wash their bras like every single brassiere washing instruction set implores you to do. Because who has the motherfucking time, oh my god.
Of the 16 of us who I know about:

3 said yes they do hand wash their bras, and I'd like to know more about their system and their time management. Frankly that was more than I expected.

2 hand wash their nice bras only, and machine wash the rest.

8 of us machine wash only, with most specifying that we use a lingerie bag and hang the bras up to dry rather than putting them in the dryer. I will go further and say that that happens except when someone doesn't notice the lingerie bag and tosses it in the dryer with the rest. I wish bra manufacturers would face reality.

3 of us just said "lol no."

This is a really good article that captures the ambivalence of the end of breastfeeding, for me. E and I were talking about how hard and awful it was in the very beginning, when the Junebug was learning to breastfeed. The nipple shields. The pain, and the never sleeping, and the terror when he lost weight. Looking back, I can't believe we kept going. How did I do that? Couldn't have done it without Mr. E. I remember there was one bit where I had to hold the Junebug's head with one hand and my boob in position with the other hand but while his head was desperately trying to suck, his little hand, under its own control apparently like Doc Ock's tentacles, was trying to rip the nipple out of his mouth. And succeeding! So Mr. E had to hold his hand still so that he could nurse, till he got better control over his hands. It was ridiculous. And now I'm done breastfeeding. Forever, barring unforeseen circumstances.

Wow, do I have a lot of feelings about that.

Some of them just involve how nice it is to be able to sleep on my stomach again.

Also I want to goddamn know why we as a people have decided that we can only have non-underwire bras in large sizes if they are nursing bras. I used to wear underwire bras, but I switched to wireless because most nursing bras are, and OH MY GOD THE COMFORT. Why do we even have these wires?? I don't want them!

Comments

[azurelunatic]

I currently wear http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GSM3AGK in 50J. These are the ones that I have sewed pockets to the inside to store my phone and iPod in. There is nary an underwire in sight.

[metaphortunate]

That looks good. Bookmarking!

Sewing really does seem like a useful skill. I just tuck things into my bra sometimes, though.

[azurelunatic]

I do use lingerie bags when I remember to, mostly because I also have delicate lacy skirts and the hooks from the bra like to rip the shit out of those. I toss them in the dryer all the time.

I also douche. I'm just doing everything wrong.

[metaphortunate]

Yeah, that's why I finally started using lingerie bags. And they're great! No more snagging, plus it helps me notice the bras to leave them out of the dryer.

[commodorified]

I handwash my bras, often by taking them into the shower with me so I can do them while the conditioner soaks in or whatever conditioner does in one's hair.

The other thing though is that machine washing, especially for no-wire bras, is no big. It's the dryer that kills them. So it's just remembering to pull them out of the load. (Ugh sorry you addressed that. I may be a bit asleep.)

I adore Goddess Bras, which are large-cup (I'm a 34-G) with many no-wire options!

[phi]

Yeah I used to wash mine in the shower, until grad school which turned me into a walking zombie incapable of the simplest household tasks. I never picked it up again after I quit, so I still do the lingerie bags and air dry routine.

[lovepeaceohana]

I realize this is not going to be possible for everyone, but at a 36B I usually only wear bras when absolutely necessary, which means that while there are some 8-hr days, most of the time I'm only wearing it maybe one or two hours a day - so I just hang it back up and reuse it until it smells a little ripe. And then I do machine wash them on the delicate cycle (no lingerie bags, I keep meaning to but, well) and lay them out flat to dry.

I mean I did also only just this past year get rid of the last of my super-comfy nursing bras because they finally wore out (nearly four years after KK quit nursing!!) so if it's an option, maybe just ... keep buying nursing bras?

[commodorified]

Airing, yes! I don't wash mine after every wearing, but rather try to rotate them so it's at least one day one one day off, and more like 1 in 3 off if I can. And I hang them somewhere. This seems to work quite well. I wash them when the band seems too stretched or the armholes seem grubby, which is not so very often.

[rosefox]

I machine-wash bras on cold and delicate or warm and permanent press, depending on what else is being washed at the time. Always ALWAYS in a bag, and I hook them together before putting them in the bag, because hooks can fuck up your washing machine as well as your clothes and I paid way too much money for that thing to want to risk it.

When X transcended the most common bra sizes, we went bra shopping at Lane Bryant. Very helpful staff and a really nice range of bra styles. X is a 40D and they doubtfully said "Well, I guess we have something that small..." so you and your Fs should be able to find plenty of things.

Sympathies on the pile of feels.

[crystalpyramid]

Lane Bryant doesn't do cup sizes above DD in band sizes below 38, though, so if you have a small band size and large cup size they are frustratingly unhelpful.

[rmc28]

I throw my bras in the washing machine. Sometimes I remember to use a lingerie bag. We have a dryer but it's not used routinely for clothes, more for sheets / duvet covers; if a clothing load is going in there, I tend to extract anything I think won't take drying well.

I stopped nursing in February this year. (And yes, I was very ready to stop and even so I have FEELINGS about no more breastfeeding ever). I mostly wear non-underwire sports bras these days: I got one very expensive fitting for a sports bra at Rigby and Peller when baby was about 3 months old; I now get the same brand and size cheap off ebay when it comes available (Shock Absorber size 40E). This has the advantage that if I have to break into a sprint to catch a toddler etc, I am already wearing a bra that makes that comfortable.

Aldi had some cheap 40E bras in last week and I impulse-bought them and well, they are not as comfortable as the sports bras, and I have to settle the underwires in the right place, and I can't run in them. But they do look pretty good when on, and I can't remember when I could last just buy bras off the shelf and they would look good.

[metaphortunate]

Yes, I was ready to stop! I mean, I was SO DAMN READY to stop pumping. Breastfeeding...what gets me is, I couldn't take a week off, you know? It was either I can do it and I MUST do it or I can stop doing it and then I can never do it again.

And still, feelings.

But my god, what I don't miss is that constant stress of the breasts being ticking time bombs. I was very prone to mastitis if I didn't get 'em drained on the regular, so I was always worrying about whether ducts were backing up if a feeding or a pumping got delayed by half an hour or so.

[veejane]

I hand wash because I am murder on bras: generally they last a year or so and then they're dead. That's WITH hand-washing. I think I just expect a lot out of them, and they die (the band gives out) under the strain.

I have been slowly discovering that, while I can never find 34DDD at Nordstrom Rack, I can occasionally find 32G, which is close enough. (Painfully tight band at first, but it stretches quickly. See above re my being murder on bras.) And at Rack prices, it's not so painfully expensive. I mean, this is how I own a tomato-red bra and a teal bra, when in general I am inclined to white or black, but whatever, they do the job.

[metaphortunate]

Good to know!

[copracat]

I wash my one very nice bra by hand in the shower. The rest are all cotton, no underwire. I hook them up so the hooks aren't free to snag anything and wash them on gentle/delicates. They don't go in the dryer, though.

I wouldn't be able to fit many bras in a lingerie bag :)

[metaphortunate]

I got like a 3-pack of cheap small bags and just put one bra per bag! That way they don't snag on each other, either.

The shower is a good idea.

[jae]

I was complaining to my partner the other day that if our culture thinks it's oh-so-awesome to be relatively thin with large breasts, then the stores should at least sell bras that fit that description. Her response was that finding a bra that fits isn't easy for anybody.

-J

[ambyr]

I handwash all my bras (I own...ten, I think?), but sufficiently infrequently that I am embarrassed to admit it. Once every three or four months I dump them all in the laundry sink with some Woolite, squish them around, let them soak, rinse them out, roll them in a towel, and hang them to dry. It's not super time-consuming, though it's unpleasant in winter, since the laundry sink is my unheated basement and the water gets fucking cold.

[laurashapiro]

I wish I could help. All my bra problems are in the other direction. Did you know that if you have small breasts and you want decent support for them, your only choice is a padded bra? That's right, you can have tiny floppies that hurt when you walk, or you can have BIG FAKE PADDED THINGS. No other choices.

[thistleingrey]

Sports bras with what Title Nine semi-endearingly calls "headlight hiders" work for me sometimes, though obviously mileage varies a lot. Thinner padding because of sweat. I was seriously contemplating an Ace bandage till I found those.

[thistleingrey]

Yeah, when the wires are in the wrong place, uggggh. (Why are there wires for small cups, I wanna know. Even with post-nursing "depletion" there isn't enough need of support for a wire.) No more wires for me, either, which basically means sports bras now. Sports bras seem to taken some kind of tremendous leap forward together with the relabeling of cups and bands, yay?

Good luck with finding bras that fit!

[laurajv]

True enough! Finally finding bras with wires narrow enough for me was like some goddamn bra angels coming down on a beam of light from on high, I swear. (I have really, really narrow-rooted breasts that are also really, really large.)

[likeadeuce]

I was one of the 'yes' on hand washing my bras and 'how many bras do you wear on a regular basis/how often do you wash them would have been a good follow up. (Few and rarely, ie, not a time management issue :)) SORRY IF THAT'S GROSS)

[likeadeuce]

(I do machine wash my one sports bra, after every one or two uses, b/c it's a super sturdy thing).

[the_siobhan]

Hand washing anything, ha ha, no. We don't have a dryer though, everything gets hung on a clothesline so that extends their lifetime quite a bit.

OTOH, I have never had a bra that fit. In my life. If I did, I might consider handwashing to be worth it because I'm going to wear that mofo until it falls to shreds.

[kate_nepveu]

Oh right, none of my bras fit well. *pokes, probably futitely, at online stores*

[metaphortunate]

I shall report back if the esoteric bra fitting instructions result in a good fit!

[nonethefewer]

Can I even explain how pissed off I am at the sheer comfort of maternity clothes, especially bras? Not that they exist, but that they only exist for the purposes of pregnancy, apparently. "But maybe I want cargo pants that don't restrict my stomach when I sit down!" PFF.

[moominmolly]

I STILL have a pair of maternity cargo shorts because they feel great, look good, and have pockets that hold a modern smartphone.

As for underwire - sports bras might also work for you? They do for me, albeit in a lower cup size.

[cahn]

GAH NURSING. Doing it for the second time right now, I have all kinds of mixed feelings about it, ranging from absolutely adoring it and the snuggliness of my baby while I'm doing it; to a sort of freeform rage that it's still basically the most gender-unequal thing I've ever done, including having a baby; to hating that I'm tethered to an industrial milking machine every three hours while I'm at work. (Work is really accommodating! But having to announce that I have to take a twenty-minute break from the meeting Just Annoys Me.)

Anyway. Hand-washing HA HA. I machine-wash my bras, I would put them in a mesh bag if I remembered but I never do, and don't put them through the dryer.

My mom actually bought my last few bras (before I entered Nursing Purgatory once again) from... I forget... Sears or JC Penneys or one of those places, and they fit and aren't particularly padded and don't have wires even though I have small breasts. I need to ask her where she got them from, because they're great.

[metaphortunate]

Yes. Yes to all of that. Oh, the rage. Oh, the snuggliness and peace (sometimes.) Oh, the complete shittiness of pumping under even the best of circumstances.

Have you seen Mad Max? The breastmilk scenes. I was basically screaming with rage at the screen.

[snippy]

I've always hand-washed my bras, and drip-dry them. I prefer underwired, but see lots of wireless bras in my size where I shop (herroom.com and I'm a 40G).

[metaphortunate]

Thanks for the tip!

[alanj]

I forget where you live, but if you are reasonably near Oakland it may be worth stopping by http://www.revelationinfit.com to see if they can help with your quest. I vaguely know the owner, she is a total geek who has ranted about the impossibility of finding properly fitting bras for many years, and finally decided to get her Kickstarter on and do something about it.

[metaphortunate]

OH MY GOD.

[kalmn]

Panache Tango II was my favorite bra in my "Martha, does anyone even make a JJ cup?" days. Not totally comfortable, but better than everything else ever. Also, they have FASHION COLORS. So if you watch, you can get them in Lemonade and Fuschia and various other big box of crayon colors. And they always have black/beige.

http://www.barenecessities.com/product.aspx?pf_id=Panache3251&cm_mmc=GLSR_NonBrand-_-Brand_-_Panache-_-Tango_Balconette_Bra_-_Style_No_3251-_-panache_bra_3251&source=GoogleA&term=panache_bra_3251&adpos=1t1&creative=66920780695&device=m&matchtype=b&network=g&gclid=COWMjvu_k8YCFYI6aQodinIAQg

[gool_duck]

My favourite non-underwire bra was by Royce, who also make breastfeeding-bras. I have a huge cup-size and that non-underwire felt good and looked good.

Currently I wear Curvy Kate because I have found it in sales and it is comfortable enough.

Herroom.com had a good online fitting questionnaire, and recommended me a bra that works well (but gets uncomfortable within a couple of hours.)

Washing: hide the bra among all the other clothes in the washing machine. Hang out to dry. Keep meaning to get a lingerie bag.

[troisroyaumes]

I did not realize you were supposed to handwash your bras or not run them through the dryer until this post. :O FWIW I haven't had any issues with just keeping mine in a lingerie bag and throwing it in with the rest of my regular laundry.

Oh my gosh, I hear you on the difficulty of finding wireless bras! Why are bras made to be so uncomfortable?! I think the Gap carries some though their range of sizes is limited IIRC.