try not to be yourself

[metaphortunate]

Rocket has started walking!

…and about half an hour after he started taking his shaky little toddling steps, we got the email from the daycare saying that his cohort is moving up to the next class. He was the very last one to walk. I think they were waiting for him. *facepalm* I feel kind of bad, several kids in the group were clearly ready to move up to more advanced toys and more adventurous activities a while ago. But kids gonna do what kids gonna do, you can't rush them.

Speaking of which, the Junebug was very seriously told to "Be yourself." by one of the extremely friendly homeless guys on the bus this morning. Which I thought was pretty funny. Of course a three-year-old is going to be himself. There is absolutely no one else he can be. Also, however, I don't WANT him to be himself. I want him to be someone who understands that if you accidentally poop a little bit in your underwear you should tell someone right away.

The homeless guys also gave him a lollipop. I was extremely conflicted about this. He was having a great time talking to them - they wanted to show him their rap sheets, and he wanted to point out that there was a "Police! That says police!" badge at the top and tell them about how Curious George got in trouble one time. And I want him to feel okay about talking to people. I mean, he lives in a city, he'd better. And I didn't want to be all AAAH DON'T TOUCH STUFF FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE WEARING HOUSE SLIPPERS CAMPING AND CUTTING EACH OTHER'S HAIR ON THE FREAKING BUS. I certainly didn't want to insult them. And, I mean, a wrapped lollipop. What's the harm? And yet if he should happen to get sick at all I can just so clearly see myself in the pediatrician's office going "Gosh, do you think maybe I shouldn't have let him eat the lollipop from the homeless guy on the bus?"

He's been told he can have it at the weekend. Possibly I will dead goldfish it before then.

Have been doing way too much Cannibal Corpse voice at the Junebug recently. :/ Trying to cut back.

Comments

[norah]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Be yourself only not impulsive, forgetful, thoughtless, messy, dirty, smelly, and distractible! Is this like, don't be you? Don't be a kid? How can we communicate the ways kids need to be better without telling them we don't value the way they are? R is really struggling lately and I feel like all I do is nag.

[metaphortunate]

It's probably much easier at this stage. :/ I try to find things I can praise him for. I also try to show that I value him just by listening, not interrupting him just like I demand that he not interrupt me, taking the time to give him explanations, etc.

Harimad here

[(Anonymous)]

Is there good things you can praise as well, even - or perhaps especially - efforts to deal with what ze's struggling with? I've definitely seen parents say things like "I see how hard you're tring to do [insert action here]. Thank you." It wasn't 100% for my little ones but it was a start.

[brownbetty]

Well, from the vantage point of a mature immune system and not having to worry about a child, so discount at whatever rate; but it seems to me that you're probably going to make a greater impact on his lifetime health by impressing the need for consistent hand-washing than the need for not accepting food from strangers.

ETA: which is to say, I know nothing about children! I mostly know about homeless people, who may be mentally ill, smelly wierdos, but are probably not a health-risk, percentage-wise on things that might impact your health.

[metaphortunate]

Hand-washing: on it. Believe me.

[jedusaur]

I'm not getting how "don't eat food from strangers" equates to "don't talk to strangers." Those are different rules?