leveling up

[metaphortunate]

Also,

Dear lady at the Tate Modern two years ago, who moved seats from sitting next to me in the cafeteria when I started nursing the Junebug, saying that you didn't want to intrude on our "intimate time":



At the time, I thought you were being hilariously precious. Last night, as I was nursing Rocket in a sling while simultaneously cooking dinner (and let's be clear, when I say "cooking dinner" I mean "boiling pasta and heating up frozen meatballs in jarred pasta sauce") and resignedly playing my part in the Junebug's attempt to determine whether his magnetic letters will stick only to the refrigerator and the dishwasher or whether they will also stick to Rocket or me, I thought of your consideration, and it nearly moved me to tears.

Comments

[thistleingrey]

*tips hat to you*

[metaphortunate]

Things you don't know you can do until you have to...

[badgerbag]

Ohhhhh I love your drawing. <3 <3

[metaphortunate]

:)

[laurashapiro]

What a wonderful drawing! It really looks like you, too.

Lovely to remember a moment like that and have an entirely new response to it.

[metaphortunate]

Kind of funny, at least. :)

[snippy]

First, I adore the drawing. You could sell prints of that, I'd buy one, it's beautiful. I've had that moment, it was a long time ago given the ages of my *grandchildren* let alone my children, but seeing your drawing brought it all back in a lovely way.

Second, oh yes the consideration of other mothers. Thank you, other mothers. I try to be that for the mothers of youngsters I come across.

[metaphortunate]

Other mothers are indeed the best.

Man, what makes me sad is that this parenting thing is feast or famine. Waking up three times a night to be Rocket's life support system, I know full well that twenty years from now my kids, if all goes well, will not even want to be around and I will love to feel necessary. It would be nice to take a week's vacation there in blessed freedom, and let my future self take a week's vacation in being a total necessity...

[snippy]

I feel your sadness. I miss being that important to my babies, too, and it's been 21 years since my youngest stopped nursing. But from what you write, you're going about it all so well! You're writing all these memories that later you'll be able to read and relive.

And in really not very much longer, you can start taking occasional weekends away. If I lived near you I would happily take your kids overnight (when you're done nursing) so you could rest. I do that now for my son (who is the father of my grandchildren). And maybe someday you will get that Proust's madeleine of what you're doing now, through your grandchildren.

And by the time they're through the teen years and whatever comes next and eventually (as one hopes) fly safely out of this nest in search of their own, you'll mourn a bit and then turn a page into a new life. They won't be gone completely! You might even still be friends with them, I'm still good friends with my younger son (who is 23), we email each other interesting stuff from the internets and game together and go to movies together (sometimes without my spouse). He's getting ready to fly out to his own nest (sometime next spring is the goal) and we may start having "Sunday dinner" or some other family tradition because we'll miss each other that much.

Yes, I miss my little boys, but I'm glad to know them as men, too. And you'll be glad to know yours as they grow. You don't lose your memories of their infancies, you just add on like building with blocks.