metaphortunate son (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
metaphortunate) wrote2013-11-02 01:43 pm
metaphortunate) wrote2013-11-02 01:43 pm
thinking makes it so - within limits
Welp, good and bad.
Good: Rocket let me sleep for one almost 4 hour stretch and one 3 hour stretch last night. Hallelujah, hot dignity dog.
Bad: Possibly because he's got the same thing I've got. Woke up feeling terrible, with muscle aches, and now it's progressed to layering pants and socks kind of chill. So yeah. I'm sick. Freaking daycare.
The problem here is that years of depression have conditioned me to do the wrong thing. See, I remember this from when the Junebug was tiny! If I started resenting him for real, and genuinely falling into despair over my life - bam. Sick in less than a day. See title of last post, for example. And then when I would get better he would be my adorable sweetie again.
But the problem is, thanks to years of therapy and so on, my reaction to feeling bad about my life is "Dammit, self, you get out of it what you put into it. Let's make the effort to all go out to breakfast. Let's tell Mr. E that it's okay for him to go for a run and I'll watch both the kids. I can draw with the Junebug all morning! He could probably use some one on one time with me!"
Which, normally, would be great! Except I think that this time it would probably have been more productive to grab Rocket and huddle under the blanket all day and make Mr. E deal with the Junebug. :/
One plus, though. I got him this little kiddie wipe erase board & blackboard? And this morning, over and over, he wanted me to draw him a kitty cat and a mouse and an elephant and a dump truck. And then he scribbled over them or erased them.
And at first I got frustrated. But then I remembered this story Mr. E told me about this one experiment, probably published in the Review of Poorly Cited Internet Studies, at least I can't find it now. So maybe it doesn't exist. But I took it as a pattern anyway. The experiment was, they took some people, and they divided them in to two groups, and they told the first group to draw the best house they could. And they told the second group to draw as many houses as they could. The upshot is that the best house was drawn by someone in the second group. Because practice makes perfect.
Anyway, so I took it as an opportunity to draw a million elephants and dump trucks, and it became more fun.
Good: Rocket let me sleep for one almost 4 hour stretch and one 3 hour stretch last night. Hallelujah, hot dignity dog.
Bad: Possibly because he's got the same thing I've got. Woke up feeling terrible, with muscle aches, and now it's progressed to layering pants and socks kind of chill. So yeah. I'm sick. Freaking daycare.
The problem here is that years of depression have conditioned me to do the wrong thing. See, I remember this from when the Junebug was tiny! If I started resenting him for real, and genuinely falling into despair over my life - bam. Sick in less than a day. See title of last post, for example. And then when I would get better he would be my adorable sweetie again.
But the problem is, thanks to years of therapy and so on, my reaction to feeling bad about my life is "Dammit, self, you get out of it what you put into it. Let's make the effort to all go out to breakfast. Let's tell Mr. E that it's okay for him to go for a run and I'll watch both the kids. I can draw with the Junebug all morning! He could probably use some one on one time with me!"
Which, normally, would be great! Except I think that this time it would probably have been more productive to grab Rocket and huddle under the blanket all day and make Mr. E deal with the Junebug. :/
One plus, though. I got him this little kiddie wipe erase board & blackboard? And this morning, over and over, he wanted me to draw him a kitty cat and a mouse and an elephant and a dump truck. And then he scribbled over them or erased them.
And at first I got frustrated. But then I remembered this story Mr. E told me about this one experiment, probably published in the Review of Poorly Cited Internet Studies, at least I can't find it now. So maybe it doesn't exist. But I took it as a pattern anyway. The experiment was, they took some people, and they divided them in to two groups, and they told the first group to draw the best house they could. And they told the second group to draw as many houses as they could. The upshot is that the best house was drawn by someone in the second group. Because practice makes perfect.
Anyway, so I took it as an opportunity to draw a million elephants and dump trucks, and it became more fun.
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<3 <3 <3
Get well soon vibes to all!
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