aunty dote

[metaphortunate]

The trip to see Bro & GF & Niece went great. Didn't have to drive in the snow, the Junebug napped part of the way there & all the way back, enjoyed the visit. Even had a Skype conversation with my mom and all of us together, and she got to see Niece & really enjoyed it. Bro & GF have a really nice house with a big backyard, cute little town, all of that was great. Niece is adorable. Omg. She is the most beautiful baby. She is so smiley and wiggly and fun.

My heart goes out to her though. She's going to have a long hard road. They're worried about how fat she is.

She's nine weeks old.

Mr. E and I tried to mention that it's GOOD for babies to be fat because they're so small and growing so fast that one bout of illness can burn right through their reserves. I hope they took it onboard but I have a strong sense that because I am fat they think I have a lot of pro-fat propaganda and I just want everyone to be fat.

Bro and GF gave the Junebug an awesome dragon hat for Christmas, which unfortunately thanks to his enormous melon head juuuuuust fits and will clearly be outgrown in two months. That's okay, we said! We love the hat and he will wear it this winter and when he outgrows it we will send it back to you and Niece can wear it because it is awesome.

Niece can't wear a dragon hat! GF said. She's a girl!

Long, hard road ahead of that little girl. And there's so little one can do to help. Even less in my family, because thanks to my mom all of our people-interfering-in-how-you-raise-your-kids needs are already FULLY met, thanks.

Sigh. I don't know. They may be worried about how fat she is, but they're sure not starving her. She's a happy little baby, they must be treating her right. Her room is all set up and it's gorgeous. She's going to grow up with a big yard and a cat and two dogs. There is plenty that the Junebug should envy her. I'm sure we're all just doing the best we can, no matter what kind of game we talk. Right?

Comments

[boxofdelights]

I hope their pediatrician will tell them that underweight is dangerous for babies.

[rosefox]

You can help by just being your awesome selves, and staying in contact. As she gets older you can start offering to host her for weekends or longer. If nothing else, by being around you she'll see that there are alternatives to thinking the way her parents do.

[wild_irises]

What rosefox said.

[thistleingrey]

Yes, exactly this. There are lots of little and big ways to be a good aunt.

[liseuse]

Hopefully their pediatrician is a sensible sort, and will reassure them that babies need to fat if they voice their concerns.

And you can be there for her, just by existing and visiting and when she's older offering a place to stay for a weekend, or so.

[surexit]

Oh God, they're worried about fat at nine weeks? That just made my heart sink.

[norah]

Oh no. Oh bug. Poor girl. They need fat for brain development! They stay chubby by neurotic adult standards though pre-K! This is a GOOD THING. Sigh.

And yes, I'm sure they're doing the best they can. I hope their pediatrician is super-clear with them on this issue, though!

[khedron]

Here's hoping they listen to their pediatrician! (Not everyone does. Hoo, boy.)

[wordweaverlynn]

The stereotyping starts early. (facepalm)

All you can do is be the Cool Exotic Aunt who models a different life for them. I had one, and that helped. These days I am one -- hell, I'm a Cool Exotic Great-Aunt now, and have been for 11 years.

[eeyore_grrl]

Different "issues" with my 1.5year old niece, but rosefox's advice is my (already happening with staying in touch) plan to show other options from her parents...

[sparkymonster]

That they're not restricting her food is a good sign I think.

Also you, Mr. E and Junebug will be present in her life. You can be the awesome relatives who send her cool books & talk about how it's OK to be whatever weight she is. Also dragon hats

[kate_nepveu]

Hoo boy. That is a hard tone, wow. But yes, modeling other options, and keeping an eye out (especially around transition to solids time, and also walking time) for serious weight drops of the "call the pediatrician" kind, and yeah. Ow.

[cahn]

+1 to what everyone's been saying about being there for her.

But also, yeah, my parents were worried about E. being fat at around nine weeks too, despite the part where she had an alarming weight drop at one week and was actually underweight for her height, and GAH.

(To be fair to them, I actually was overfed with formula at several months, which probably affected their response -- looking at my baby pictures juxtaposed with E's, it's pretty clear I had more than the normal baby chubbiness, and the pediatrician made them cut down on formula. Is niece formula-fed or breastfed? It does make a difference in the worry-tone, simply because it's harder to tell if overfeeding is happening, I think. Though they're almost certainly still overreacting. Have they been around other babies much?)

(And on the other hand, we never took my parents to the pediatrician so that the doctor could tell them E was perfectly fine, because my mom had all these great ideas as to how I should tell the pediatrician that my sister was a doctor because then the pediatrician would treat me better! And, I suppose, tell me all the information that she wouldn't tell me before I revealed I was related to the Sooper Secret Physician Cabal. *facepalm* Ah, family...)

[metaphortunate]

Me too.

[metaphortunate]

Yeah. And, I hope the pediatrician is giving good advice.

[metaphortunate]

Well, actually, doctors are as liable as anyone else to respect people in their in-group more. You well might get better treatment/information if they knew that your sister was a doctor. :P

Niece is currently breastfed, and yeah, that comes with its own insecurities. And no, they've never really been around other babies much that I know of. I know that doesn't help!