good, kind, nice, polite

[metaphortunate]

wired wrote the most fascinating post about the difference between good, kind, nice, and polite.

I try to be kind. Pretty much all the time. It's probably not for me to say whether I succeed, but I try, and I feel pretty good about it.

I have good impulses, but especially now, I don't have the time or energy to back them up, and it makes me sad.

I'm not nice.

I do polite about the same way as I do juggling. Which is to say, I do it better than a number of people, because a number of people - mostly guys, because guys are often not required to - have never bothered to put in so much as an afternoon's worth of time in trying to learn how, and I've spent years practicing. But almost anyone who does bother to put in an afternoon's worth of time practicing will be better at it than me, because I naturally suck at it. Just don't have the reflexes. I keep practicing, though, because it's interesting and opens up opportunities in life to me.

Note: I am probably wrong about all of the above, as wired notes, this sort of self-evaluation is exceptionally vulnerable to Dunning-Kruger delusions. (Also, why I don't care about your star sign, your birth year, or your ENBP or BPJT or TLXA or whatever the hell it is test result thing.)

Comments

[ironed_orchid]

I like this way of thinking through the differences. I have come to value kindness, but I'm not sure I actually manage it as often as I like.