multiple choice

[metaphortunate]

So, what have you been up to?

A) Oh, you know. Same old, same old.

B) What have I been up to? Let me answer that with a long baby anecdote! My baby is nearly at another milestone! I mean, I'm pretty sure. I think there are signs. Do you want to hear all about it? It involves poop. I have a lot of photos on my phone!

C) I've become obsessed with cockfighting. I don't really own any birds of my own, but I've been spending hours on end learning about the sport. It's totally a sport. Let me sit you down and tell you all about my disreputable new hobby. Do you think I should get some birds?

D) Trudging day by day towards the inevitability of the grave while the economy and the climate shit the bed as the human race does a ponderous, balletic, completely avoidable decade-long suicide, same as you. Why?

E) Okay, to be honest, I've been kind of tense lately. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to keep my spouse from noticing that I've been keeping roosters on the back patio.

F) My life is so fucking awesome I can't talk about it because if I ever do even I want to beat myself to death with a hammer for smugness.

G) Do you have half an hour? I could go into everything I've been learning at work and the political dilemmas I've been dealing with and the various strategies I'm considering for coping with them, plus I'd like to vent about my boss.

H) Can't complain. You?

Comments

[kore]

Trudging day by day towards the inevitability of the grave while the economy and the climate shit the bed as the human race does a ponderous, balletic, completely avoidable decade-long suicide, same as you. Why?

....basically, yeah.

[laurashapiro]

I should write up one of these myself, and just hand it to everyone who asks. It would save this introvert the bother of small-talk.

BTW, want some medium-talk sometime soon? I miss you!

[wired]

I) I'm excited for the Great Minnesota Get Together, aka The Fair. Have you been yet this year? Did you see the life-size busts of dairy princesses carved in butter? Did you see my mittens in the Creative Arts case? Is there snarky political cartooning rendered in flax seeds? Did you buy a ShamWOW? What was the most deep-fried thing you ate?*

(Also, I read that a guy died when his fighting cock stabbed him with the knife tied to it. I have to say that I failed my human kindness roll and sniggered at that.)

*It is almost impossible to overstate the quirky weird earnestness of this event. The best part is that as an organization, it's completely non-ironic.

[trouble]

Baby anecdotes with photos are the best. (Don't tell anyone, but I am a sucker for people's kid stories.

[kalmn]

Hi, have we met? I have kid stories. Boy am I willing to tell you about him at great length. The week's- yobaby drinkable yogurt is a great way to get more fat into them but really, only let them have one a day. In completely unrelated I swear okay not really news, the dog was licking the kid's leg the other day.

[kalmn]

B. all b all the time. Sadly, many local friends are on G, which makes for an awkward mismatch.

[lovepeaceohana]

B, but then again, I'm told that's part of parenting responsibly. So I'm in the clear there!

Also, Z, I am considering setting up an online dream journal. I'm already keeping a paper one, but since most of the things I am reading about dreams right now keeps talking about a lack of research, I am considering making it available as a resource. I am a little embarrassed about it, though, possiblyallrightyestotally because a lot of my dreams involve fictional characters, and somehow a dream journal that consists of a lot of "and then Snape said something snarky" and "I used the atomizer-inator to turn Robotnik and Knuckles into sheets of plastic" just doesn't ... seem like very serious business, or something that will be useful/interesting to people other than me.

[trouble]

If I follow you, will I get kid stories? KID STORIES ARE THE BEST. My friends on facebook are all "I don't want to overwhelm you with baby photos and toddler stories" and I'm all like "NO. MORE BABY STORIES. I CAN SCROLL if I don't want to read them today!"

:D!!!!

(I have no kids of my own nor any plans to have them.)

[snarp]

Please play Pokemon instead. You may have my old cartridges if you like.

[metaphortunate]

Mr. E says, buck up little trooper! Admittedly we're causing a mass extinction, but it's hardly the first mass extinction. These things just happen from time to time.

[metaphortunate]

That is the best thing about county fairs! I love non-irony!

[metaphortunate]

If I said anything to make it sound like I was hurting for things to do, it was misleading! My days are, uh. They are not empty!

They just kind of don't make a good story, these days.

[metaphortunate]

Yes! Will email.

[snarp]

I was concerned for the poor chickens, is all! They live in sad little cages out in people's yards when they're not fighting, and crow mournfully at passing cars. In the night when the moon is dark, their ravaged spirits may briefly waddle away from their bodies to torment the dreams of the local dogs.

[metaphortunate]

Nooo I can't deal with that. Let me tell you about my general level of anxiety these days. I can't cheer myself up by looking at Zooborns anymore because it stresses me out to think that either 1) there is a very stressed mother animal somewhere off camera because HUMANS are TOUCHING HER BABY or 2) there is no mother animal because the babies have been abandoned by their mother because of the stresses of her artificial environment, and either way, it makes me miserable for the rest of the day. Let me assure you that cockfighting is not the real disreputable hobby in question, and now I am sad.

[snarp]

I'm sorry; I didn't mean to inflict more doom. To be clear, I did not actually think you were serious. I just keep re-reading the Achewood archives, which is a bad thing to do, as I end up talking like Nice Pete the Serial Killer.

More seriously, I reached a similar state of conviction of impending doom a few weeks ago, and finally gave up and went to a psychiatrist, because I couldn't de-escalate it through my usual means. I am a bit more together now. If you can make time in your schedule, maybe you could try that?