metaphortunate: (Default)
metaphortunate son ([personal profile] metaphortunate) wrote 2012-11-04 06:08 pm (UTC)

Re: On places one cannot leave: a rambling

I think the feeling like a cad is a big part of the issue: like, with my mother, I could stay and fight, but I don't want to be the person that I would have to be in order to win that fight. There are fights I could win, but I would have to be a huge jerk. And because I don't want to be a huge jerk, I prefer to leave.

But I am now thinking about, well, maybe sometimes it's worth it to be a huge jerk. In which case, you have to think about which of your ethical guidelines you're willing to let go of, and why. And how you could get the best effect in return.

I have also noticed that a lot of this advice comes out of assuming that the person with the problem has no power in the situation. Which is often true! Otherwise they would have fixed the situation, and would not need advice! However, I'm thinking about ways in which one could get power. Like you working on getting your immediate supervisor on your side. I think that's really smart.

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